1. |
St. Maarten
03:31
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I don’t believe in heaven
but I hope wherever you are
is soft and blue
and warm and new
like the time we left the country
i hope you are swimming in a new ocean
i hope you are feeling buoyant and open
i hope you are floating and floating and floating
not sinking to the ground
right next to your bed
in a fight with the masses
that hide inside your head
not sinking like the one
that i feel in my chest
when i fall asleep and replay
the rattle of your last breath
i don’t believe in heaven but i know that you do
i don’t believe in heaven but it’s all i wish for you
i don’t believe in heaven
but i hope that it’s blue
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2. |
Florets
03:16
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one thing i know and i've known from the start
you watered these florets that grew from my heart
and when it came time to harvest your crop
you looked in disgust at what you had got
you left them to die and then you forgot
so what do i do with these graves in my chest?
i want to lie down but i’m too heavy to rest
it’s easy to sit here and blame it on you
but i opened my ribs for the love that we grew
i pulled back my bones and you cracked the rest through
you peeled off each layer of armor i kept
laid in your arms, you made space and i wept
my rattling bones found strength in this nest
until you spit in my face and you laughed, then you left
my vines now sit broken, untethered, unkempt
so what do i do with these graves in my chest?
i want to lie down but i’m too heavy to rest
it’s easy to sit here and blame it on you
but i opened my ribs for the love that we grew
i pulled back my bones and you cracked the rest through
you turned me to pulp just because i loved you
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3. |
Julia
02:43
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i wish you would wear colored tights
because it doesn’t matter how big
you think your calves are
they're pretty just like that
you're pretty just like that
sometimes you get sad
about your brain being crazy
but so is mine so i don’t mind
we're normal just like that
you're normal just like that
one time my old friend
well she made you made you cry
but you’ve never been in my heart
to replace someone elses spine
you carved your space just like that
you did it just like that
we’re too young for frog jail,
we’re too old for cartoons
but i still think we should sleep till noon
and then we can watch some more cartoons
we should get high and watch cartoons
we should smoke and sleep tilll noon
we should get really really high and do that soon
thanks for always having my back
i’ve never had a friend i loved like that
you carved your space just like that
sometimes you get sad
about your brain being crazy
but so is mine so i don’t mind
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4. |
The "If" Waltz
03:32
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if you were around on this sunday night
we’d probably watch tv
we’d probably fight
i know if you were here, we’d eat some fruit
we’d make lots of dick jokes
we’d talk about butts that were cute
but you don’t live here, not like you did
im clinging to you from when i was a kid
not a breeze in my hair, or dust in the light
i wish you were here and still breathing tonight
on this tuesday morning, if you were around
you’d leave comments on Facebook
tell me i make you proud
i know if you were here, you’d call mavreen
you’d ask how the kids are
laugh at how moms live on caffeine
but you don’t live here, not like you did
im clinging to you from when i was a kid
not a photo on the wall, or in things that i write
i wish you were here and still breathing tonight
if you were around on this thursday night
you’d probably come see me
singing tonight
you’d probably wear your magenta pants suit
its too hot for velour
but you’d still look cute
but you don’t live here, not like you did
i’m clinging to you from when i was a kid
not ash in an urn, or thoughts of your plight
i wish you were here and still breathing tonight
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